Sometimes I say yes to more than I can handle. I want people to know I care, I "need" to be involved and I really do want to be kept busy so I end up doing things like meeting someone at 4pm knowing I have to be somewhere else (not nearby) at 6pm. I plan multiple, often relatively unachievable, meetings or events in small timeframes. (I call it time optimism). Liane curbed that instinct - she helped me to say no to things; moreover she made me want to come home more, both on purpose and subconsciously.
With that gone I am busy again. Maybe too busy, or maybe busy enough. Certainly very tired a lot so leaning towards the too busy side of things...
I just felt like sharing what I got through in a short space of time this week. It was frantic but it also felt good being around people and achieving things. I want my friends, and anyone else reading this blog, to know where and what I am at. So here goes.
- I poured my heart and Liane's story out to Roisin Ingle for her podcast, Roisin Meets. It will be out on Friday October 20th. It was a daunting, challenging, enjoyable and satisfying experience. She put me at ease and let me talk. She asked questions gently and responded kindly. I left feeling I covered most things but left some things out in the adrenaline rush of it all.
- I saw Blindboy of the Rubberbandits talk. He impressed me hugely with his open honesty around his opinions and experiences regarding mental health. If my students learned half of what he taught me in those 45mins they'll be better people for it.
- I met with an employee of Epilepsy Ireland to talk about what they do, where the money fundraised will go and if I can help further. Im going to be writing a piece for them and maybe talking on the radio about my experience and about Liane 's life and death.
- I hosted a dinner party for 5 friends. It was lovely.
- I helped organise and supervise a 12 hour Sleep Out for TY students in my school. We spent the night out in the rain and have likely raised over €5000 for the Peter McVerry Trust charity.
Reading all that makes me tired. It was too much. I got to the weekend and was exhausted but full of love, inspiration and determination. I just need the balance Liane gave me...