The acuteness of it all

Last night I had a small party in my house. Close friends came over for dinner after a day of rugby excitement and lots of drinking. It was a fun night of messing, singing, dancing and chats. And then suddenly, like a sledgehammer, came a pure and a fierce sense of Liane not being here. The house oozed her absence. The rooms, the people, the yard - all of it was so Liane-less. I burst into tears and tried to talk it through. A few different shoulders and lots of tissues. Sure the alcohol had a part to play but the emotion still sits with me today, slightly dimmer but still here. I wonder will it fade and when? How? Do I want it to? So much to process...